For Amanda
Written for you on our birthday-October 11, 2007


 

Birthdays come and go through the years
Bringing fond memories, laughter,
And; even sometimes, tears.

Birthdays have been more special from the day you were born
But harder to live with too;
For once; from my life and my arms, you were torn.

But you remained steadfast; in my heart and my soul
As I clung tight to what; from me, could not be stole

Through prayer we were brought closer
Though even closer is my desire
And this pursuit isn’t one that I’d ever want to retire.

We’ve shared many days which I’d hoped we were on the way
To the mutual mother-daughter bond;
But not always having all the right words to say.

So I need to let you know that even in silence I yearn to be closer to you
And share what part of life you’ll let me no matter what life brings us through.

Sometimes If I don’t have just all the right things to say
I hope you know that the love I feel toward you is what I want to convey.

Though many a time we haven’t seen completely eye to eye
And even caused each other grief or hurt feelings, and have made each other cry.

But nothing in this world could take the love I have for you away.
And all I can do is pray that the good Lord will show you just how much it is one day.

I just want you to know how proud I am of you; and the way you have grown.
Seeing the mother you’ve come to be; has only, confirmed what I’ve felt or known.

So many times I’ve wanted to have a "heart to heart"
But rejection's fear has held me back, and so, I don’t even know where to start.

Sometimes we’ve said things that have cut into the core,
And forgiveness doesn’t mean haunting words won’t knock at future doors.

As I take this time to try and write what’s "really" on my mind
I sit and ponder the words from my soul, but; not even, sure of what I’ll find.

For there’s one thought that says; after reading, you’ll toss this in the can
But yet another; that would say, that would never be your plan.

But none the less here I am trying to let you know
That my love has only got stronger through years of watching you grow.

And now as I silently watch your son so peacefully asleep
While you are away at work and asked me; if he, I’d keep

I’m reminded of when you were about his age
And wish; just once, I could turn time back a few years,
or even page by page.

Back to when you clung to me; not wanting to be put down
And hold my long hair in your fingers, twirling it round and round

If I could control the clock and turn back to that very day
I’d remove the batteries so that we’d have more time to play

Yes, if I could do that, I’d cuddle you in my arms
And try and shelter you from the future and the valleys of alarms.

But it’s in the valley where things begin to grow
Where life’s seeds have been planted and production begins to flow.

It’s only a matter of choice what seeds will take and sprout,
Or, that we bother to pluck the weeds or the thorns, that need thrown out.

So on our birthday this year I had to let you know
I’m proud of the seed; that started you, and the one that made you grow.
 
 

All my love on Our Birthday…October 11, 2007
Mom


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